Re-entry Reflections

If you have followed this blog at all you may have noticed that new posts have become pretty rare. The simple reason is that, after nine years in Turkey, we have moved back to Canada. The decision was ultimately one we made for the sake of our family and not because of any issues we had with Turkey, its people, or culture.

In fact, it was really quite the opposite. What really made leaving Turkey so difficult was that life there was good. We had good friendships, we felt at home in the culture, and we enjoyed the lifestyle that came with it. I assume it’s much easier to leave a place you’ve struggled in than loved.

Now, I have avoided using the travel quotes that so many other travel blogs like to use. They’re often far more sentimental about travel than I would be and many even elevate the idea of travel to a point of absurdity, as if a life without travel is not worth living. As if travelling is the only true way to reach fulfilment. Motherhood? That’s hardly sounds fulfilling, have you tried a 6-hour layover in Charles de Gaul airport? Now THAT’S living!

My dislike for sentimental travel quotes aside, there is one theme that can often be found in travel quotes that I can absolutely relate to.

 

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”
– Marcel Proust

 

“Travel changes you. As you move through this life and this world you change things slightly, you leave marks behind, however small. And in return, life—and travel—leaves marks on you.”
– Anthony Bourdain

 

“A mind stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions”

– Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

 

You get the point. Travel changes the traveller. At least the kind of travel that gives you the chance to see and experience another way of life can change you. And in our case, 9 years of being immersed in another culture has changed us and made returning to our home culture a strange and eye-opening experience.

While there are a lot of challenges and differences that would be difficult to put into words, here are a few that have stood out.

 

Turklish

Any one we spoke English with in Turkey could also speak Turkish. The result was that, when we weren’t able to find a word in English we could just use the Turkish and still be understood. This grew to the point of absurdity where we used Turkish words or even grammar in English sentences all the time. The problem is that, returning to Canada, you can’t say “can you uzat the kablo” and actually expect people to understand.

The result was that, when we arrived back in Canada, the odd Turkish word would slip into our English or, more often, we would just be stuck with a long “uuuuuhhh” as we tried to recall the English word.

 

Canadian Social Life

This is probably the biggest difference between life in Canada and Turkey and it comes through in a few major ways. Tea houses, cafes, barbers, and even the nurseries (the kind that sells plants, not the one for babies) are open till midnight or later. Not only are they open late but they are designed to hold lots of people and be an enjoyable place to sit for a few hours. By comparison Canadian cafes tend to be small, uncomfortable, and closed most of the time. If you want to buy a begonia after 5 you’ll just have to wait till morning.

For families in Canada nap times and bed times are often seen as non-negotiable routine setters whereas in Turkey kids just fall asleep somewhere if they get tired enough and their sleep doesn’t ever cut a visit short.

Ultimately, this comes down to what different priorities a culture will have. Compared to Turks Canadians will tend to prioritise personal quiet time, quality of sleep, and individual hobbies. By comparison Turks will drink tea and coffee at all hours of the night, sleep very little, and hobbies tend to be team sports more often than not.

I don’t know of a cultural reason for having a nursery open 24/7.

A properly in depth look at the cultural difference between the social lives of Canadians and Turks would be a very lengthy and boring essay for the average person so I’m going to leave it here. It is a significant enough issue to have come up with every middle eastern and central Asian immigrant we have met. The struggle for these newcomers is loneliness. They are accustomed to an intense social life that goes late into the night and it’s something that is simply difficult to find outside of a bar setting.

 

Why is the Sun Always Gone?

The last Turkish city we lived in was quite a bit further south than where we live in Canada and so winter days were much longer. Add to that the fact that the Mediterranean coast is a whole lot sunnier and dryer than the Canadian West Coast and it feels like we never see the sun here in Canada. I get up, go to work, and start working before the sun rises above the horizon. Through the day it skirts across the south, barely above the height of the trees and hidden behind the ever-present clouds.

Growing up in Canada the long dark winters never really stood out to me but after years of winter sunshine I can absolutely understand why so many Canadians get sick of the dark and the rain and head south for the winter.

 

There are of course many other small things. For example, I made the wrong noise at a dog I was trying to chase off (I’m not even sure what Canadians say but in Turkey it’s sssht!) and it took a while to realise it was ok for me to be in the house if my wife had a female friend over (its not that its inappropriate as much as my wife’s friend will cut the visit short if I’m at home).

While it’s now been a year and a half and we are much better adjusted to life in Canada than when we arrived there are still plenty of ways in which all the “travel changes you” quotes still ring true.

 

Now, this isn’t to say that we are done with Turkey, we hope to go back as often as possible, as much to escape the dark and the quiet as well as to visit the friends we’ve left behind all around the country.